Hello ladies!

Welcome to the blog! I spent like 30 quid on this. I think I'm crashing out... I am literally just a girl who is trying to procrastinate study. Anyways, enough backstory. Lets talk about me! I have had the BEST FEW DAYS IN CORK!!!!! Now, the study goals have most definitely not been met. But sure, what harm? I arrived in this great and beautiful city on Wednesday. That night I went and met cousin Alanna. We talked about lots of things. We talked about having to sometimes adjust your outlook on things for the sake of peace with some people. Something that is very relevant in my life at the moment and is encouraging me to question my self respect. The foundation of self respect is essentially being true to yourself. I wonder if my compliance with other people is interfering with my level of self respect. While I have a tendency to compromise my outlooks and beliefs for the sake of peace, and this may in turn diminish my self respect, peace is one of the big priorities in my life. It allows me to just parasail on through life, no worries. My life is so peaceful to a point where 90% of the time, I feel like I'm in the sea, floating on my back with my ears half in the water acting like earphones to quiet the world around me. I am so fortunate to have this ability to not let things get to me. To brush most things off and to not get too fixated and to say "what harm?" to most of the going ons in my life. However, I feel as though some people in my life have been more than negative lately. I understand we're at a time in our lives where there's a lot going on. BUT... I don't think I'm built to deal with and be around so much negativity. However, if I straight up say that, I am potentially causing confrontations and being "a bad friend". This would also be detrimental to my floating on the sea. I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. Recently, I've really been working hard on my self respect (I read "On Self Respect" by Joan Didion like once a week lol) (It's just an essay I would really recommend reading). I just am struggling with if changing my outlooks to comply with other people's negativity and to make them happy and to protect my peace is also me bending my sense of self respect. If peace is such a priority for me, then is my protecting it a form of self respect? Or does that change when I have to morph my feelings and ideas into something else for the sake of the peace? Is it okay for me to do that as long as I stay fully self aware of who I am and how I actually feel? The question of self respect is a big one. One I fear I am no closer to answering than I was about a month ago when I reread "On Self Respect" for the first time in a year and the idea of self respect came to the forefront of my mind.